Feelings

I’ve been questioning my reasons for painting… Subject etc my work always revolves around faces and bodies to a certain extent. What concerns me is the passive expression the fact that things happen to them, the subject, and they accept it… What does that say about me? I have a fear that if I allow true passion I will not be able to contain it… Control it, so instead of embracing my feelings I keep them in a box with the lid closed, locked, chained and padlocked. Whilst this has served me well over the years, I have faced grief, pain, physical and psychological, I have been able to view it as one does a film or read a book, but it has stifled my creativity, has put limits on my ability to push the boundaries of my art and practice to face that which I fear and disturbs me. Its taken a long time to secure my feelings in a place of safety.. How long will it take to re-open the box and feel… I have doubts I will do it before I pop my clogs!

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